There are These Moments
Introduction by Dr. Marj Britt, facilitator of the Called By Love intensives and teacher of the Write Your Soul process
Often when we practice “Write Your Soul”, our deepest levels of feeling and deepest level of Soul Process comes to be scribed on the page. Add to that, if you really yearn to know your Soul’s journey, attending the intensives for Called By Love, a living laboratory of soul work. This post is written by one who has made these commitments and because the process is still tender and revealing at deep levels, the name of the author will not be revealed, although the writing is posted with the author’s permission. It is stunning, so beautiful………. It is so profoundly true of our process as we go into the Unknowing…….profoundly yearning from deep within to Know in the Unknowing. It is part of the Womb process that comes, the Bridge between two realities, the visible and the invisible. It holds both our moments of doubt and fear as well as our moments of courage and Revelation.
Here I am again… a new beginning that seems to appear a bit unstable at the moment… no sure footing although I did have full faith in this… and full trust that this opportunity was brought to my doorstep for a good reason. Was it to take a leap of faith and dive off the tall, high board once again into an empty pool, or one filled with beautiful healing waters? I’m not sure what lies at the bottom of it all just yet… I’m still in mid-air, going through the motion of it all.
Why am I seeking stability and support in the outside world of work, doing, and generating new business for some new client, or new company, or new project when the last two have opened the gates with me running full throttle and then, suddenly, without my knowing, they decided to abandon ship, close the race, and close shop? What am I doing with these players in the field? Trying to earn a living of course… trying to go back to the marketplace with gift-bestowing hands… trying to hold my consciousness high enough and deep enough to breath through the tough moments and share the light…but is it being shed? Is it being shared? Is it being expressed?
I don’t know… I find myself so vulnerable these days, strong in the knowing, and weak in the unknowing… a bit blistered and bruised by it all. Am I really ready to go back into the marketplace with gift bestowing hands and heart if every new beginning leads to a false start?
This is the third false start in the last two years… What is this about? What am I to know that I do not yet know? I am listening sweet Holy Spirit… Please make my Heart pure, and my Soul transparent with Light and Love. What is your will of me?
I’m on my knees… Please embrace me now… Hold me with your Love and your Divine Guidance… Show me the way. My Beloved and dearly loved Mother is old and ever so precious to me, and I know she is waiting for me to become stable, secure, and sure of myself once again.
But I am not at this moment… I am not sure of myself, or anything or anyone in my life… I am open, receptive and generous with my Love, but I don’t know how I am to proceed… I am here, now, in this present moment… with you. I have dived off another board of a deep pool that was presented to me, and I’m not sure there is water in the bottom of that pool. Once again… I am temporally suspended in mid-air… is there ground to fall upon? or a healing pool of water to land and float? You have given me life… you have given me many gifts… you have given me everything… What am I to do with this precious Life of mine? Who am I to share it with? I am done with the struggling… I cannot struggle any more… I have no energy left for that, and no desire. Let the grave marker’s of the past be done… I am here, now, in full magnificence with you. Please guide me and show me the way. I choose not to waste my precious time and youthful, healthy body and beautiful mind upon grave markers of the past and empty, bottomless pools without healing waters to swim.
I choose Grace. I choose Beauty. I choose Love. I choose Joy. I choose Prosperity. I choose Laughter. I choose Peace. I choose Your Divine Inspiration. I am here Sweet Spirit, listening to your every breath… in the quiet of your warm embrace.